Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. In the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. –Max Ehrmann
This is something I really struggle with. Anyone who knows me knows my negative thoughts are my worst enemy. There is nothing anyone else can say that I have not already said to myself 100 times over at some point.
Since being away at school I have really been struggling with feeling defeated, lonely and just completely run down. I have managed to not let it bring my grades down. Quite the contrary because of these challenges I have tried even harder with my studies and have managed to keep a 4.0 so far. Of course in my head that just isn’t good enough. I have tried very hard to not let anyone know just how much I am struggling but today I broke down a little and I’m glad that I did. I was chatting with my parents and they reminded me of something very important. They told me to think back to where I was just 1 year ago today.
I was living in an independent living facility for adults with mental illness barely able to function because of side effects from medication. I had a full body Parkinson’s like tremor and struggled with the most basic daily functions of routine life that so many, including myself, take for granite. Just 1 year ago I could not have even entertained going to school, or working or enjoy the simplest things in life like being creative and enjoying the company of friends and loved ones. All I could think of was when is this going to end and even tried to bring that end a little closer.
I have a bad habit of comparing myself to others and where they are in their lives. I get down on myself that I have not had the successes and happiness’s that they enjoy. I fall into the trap of telling myself that I am a failure because I do not have what they have, but I have been reminded once again that I also did not start out where they have.
The successes I have had are entirely unique to me and what I needed to experience to be who I am. I would not change them.
My point is this…Be kind to yourselves. Your experiences, no matter how negative, are yours and your alone. They make you unique and specially qualified for your very own unique destiny. No one can do it for you. There is only one you and your purpose is yours alone.
3 comments:
A life lesson many may never learn. Always remember there is only one Aunt Vricky. Luv ya. And can I say one thing "28 days of pie" teehee.
That is a beautiful post! I have warm fuzzies. :) You are inspiring. And it means so much more because of your experiences. Thank you for reminding me to be kind to myself. And BTW, I have always admired you. I bet you have no idea how jealous of you I was in High School. You were always the creative and cool one. And you still are. :) Love you!
@Pammisue- you may have to come visit during that 28days-o-pie. I have had to throw out alot of bread this month. I will need help eating the pies.
@Patty-thank you. I always feel weird about writing about my stuff but it helps me sort things out. It helps knowing someone else gets something out of it as well.
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