Grieve the child & embrace the woman.

I never knew this kind of happiness existed.
I used to see glimmers of it in the eyes of others
and yet it continually eluded me,
I never dreamed that happiness could belong to me.
I numbed my pain with pills.
I gave up over & over again,
failing at life and at love,
and then when the fight had left me
and the darkness kept me from seeing the truths before me,
I found it.
Not on the lips of others,
And not in their cold embrace,
but in the simplicity and clarity that,
forgiving ones self can bring.
I gave myself permission to live and to love
and to experience peace.
I grieved and let go of the child in pain
And wrapped my arms around the woman
capable of being loved.
Then and only then did love find me.
6/7/09

My sad little garden!

I have been dying to get my geraniums planted but it has been raining the past couple of days but finally had a decent day today.
Until today this barral was full of weeds and cigar butts. I think the geraniums look much better. My building does not have and kind of yard. It is all concrete so this is the best I could do.

Happy Birthday Mom!

Hey Everyone!

Just wanted to drop in and let everyone know i'm okay. I have been home a week from the hospital after having emergency gall bladder surgery. Here is a pic of the big incision. It's only about 2 inches long.I see the surgeon today for my post-op appointment. I am feeling great considering. I even managed to go for a walk outside yesterday and it was beautiful.

My new job is going good too. My employer said that if I did my re-cooperating at home instead of going up to moms they could still pay me my full wages since i dont have sick time yet. I have been dating a great guy for a couple months now and i am just absolutely smitten with him and he is with me. To quote one of my favorite movies "the greatest thing in this life is to love and be loved in return." I think it is interesting that I am finally at the point that I dont "need" a man to feel good about myself and its then that I meet a great guy.

Funny how things work out.

I Identify with Gollum!

Always Look on the bright side of life!

It's Official!

I GOT THE JOB! I start this friday and move into the single apartment this weekend.