My Angel Experience

August of 2004 was a very dark time for me. Even though my sister Pammy was pregnant after having a very difficult time concieving, I found myself living in a world filled with dark thoughts. Each challenge that presented itself seemed to me to be another sign that I wasn't meant to be in this world. After a particularly difficult day at work I was staying over at a close friends house. After he fell asleep I found myself laying awake in the spare room being bombarded with self destructive thoughts. Up until that moment I had always been able to argue reasons for me to keep living. This night I was losing the battle and then finally resolved myself to what I believed the fates wanted. I sat on the floor and swallowed all of my prescriptions. I sat there for a little then decided to make a half hearted effort to wake my friend. He awoke alert and prepared to help. This is the point things go wonky for me. At first it all went black then slowly lightstarted to filter into my vision. It was like when you see the sun shining through an opening of trees and then I suddenly felt someone take me by the hand. I looked to right and the most beautiful woman was there. The strange thing was was that I knew her. This was not just some woman. This was my Niece. The one waiting to be born. She was very kind and her voice was like the tinkling of a small stream. I could not take my eyes off her and as I watched a single tear fell from her eye. I asked why she was sad. She said she was sad because she felt my pain and understood my actions but that I had to go back. I began to cry, not understanding, I wanted to remain with her. She explained that I couldn't stay. That in 3 days she would be born and that she needed me on earth with her. I was so confused. Why would she of all people need me. She explained that once she was born the veil between worlds would be in place and that she needed me, her Aunt to hold her hand and walk her through her life in the world. And she was gone. And 3 days later she came just as she promised. I'm still waiting for the day she needs me. It always seems to be the other way around. Her leading me. Like in this picture. The day we were both discharged from the hospital. It looks as if she is telling me all the secrets of the world. And let me tell you. that's how it feels at times. Her big blue eyes just so full of love and understanding. She is 4 now and everyday I remember that single tear spilt just for me and my pain.